We spring clean our homes but how many of us actually spring clean our lives. Well, I did and interestingly my home and my wellbeing has approved tenfold. How did I do that? I rid myself of all the negative influences in my life. Yes, hurt people I may have but I think I became more important.
The people that suck you dry and feed of your positive energy these are the people to say ‘I’m done’ harsh as it may sound, think about how you feel when you are with them. The walking on egg shells and the sheer exhaustion of allowing them to be in your life.
New beginnings are what you should be looking for not being stuck in a one way system. We should be looking up and saying our lives can be better. If we hold on to the negativity because we are afraid to hurt the feelings of others? do they care whether they hurt us? I don’t think so. If they did, they would appreciate the mental psyche can take just so much.
I have an amazing a friend and though I don’t see her often, we talk almost every day. She invited us over for Eid and I had the most amazing time. The point, I did not feel drowned or negative at the end of the evening. Save for my stomach looking pregnant the evening went swimmingly. Friendship is about ups and downs and yes, we have both had our ups and downs but there is a balance.
But then you have the other friends that constantly bring you down. You honestly stare at the phone when their names come up, thinking should I answer or not. You realise that eventually you will need to call them back, so you pick up the phone, to hear the same negativity which makes you crumble as you say ‘I understand or yes I’m so sorry’ These are the people that don’t care about you, who will ignore you when it suits them and use you when they need help. It is not a two way street. It is literally one way.
Now you may think, well we’ve been friends for years, yes, but what kind of friendship has it been, really!!! Think about it. A weight has been lifted and I feel free to be me and not to pander solely to the needs of others.
Selfish I hear you say, is it not better to be selfless when you can truly give without feeling forced to endure the negativity. Kindness to you is the first step.
Initially it is hard to break the ties and you worry so much but once you tell them honestly how you feel, it becomes easy to slowly move away. You have all heard the saying ‘familiarity breeds contempt’ this is what happens in many friendships. Overtime you learn the characters in the group and there will always be an alpha, the one you will not talk back to, the one that you like but makes you feel a little afraid. You don’t want to anger them, fearing the repercussions. You then find yourself their punching bag. They take their frustrations out on you because, yes, you will stay quiet. This does not make you weak, this means you have compassion. The alpha recognises the one that will say nothing and that is the one they will go for.
A spring clean will free you from the emotional servitude, being enslaved to others which leave you broken and torn. It feels like air has entered my lungs for the first time and I am soaring over the clouds of freedom.